I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Maybe he injected his testicle?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
