plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
