I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
