I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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