how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
