the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
wakey wakey hands off snakey
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
