it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
