omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize
