I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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