ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
A bitchslap is in order.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
