she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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