I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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