my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
