drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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