I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
