eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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