There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I think I have vodka in my lungs
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
