I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
