I'm sorry my penis didn't work
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
