i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
