he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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