if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm like, not good at living.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
