Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
