god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
