if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Dicks are not precious.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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