I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Randomize
