i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
