OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
