Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Two words: blizzard sex
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
