If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
