I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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