38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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