I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
