you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
