There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
