I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
