My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
