Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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