im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm passing your future prison.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
