Pants 0. Shit 1.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
