His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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