I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
