When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
