yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize