You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
