I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
