i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
What drink are we having for lunch?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
