I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
