Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
