i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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