fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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