Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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